A morality test!
From Possummomma comes this tale of a morality test. Shall we see how I do?
Have you ever spoke the name of our Lord in vain? Yup.
Have you ever killed another human being? Not that I’m aware of, but my cooking may have at some point, and they were simply too polite to tell me.
Have you every lied? I’m human, therefore yes.
Have you ever had relations before marriage? Since you bloody Christians won’t let me get married, yes. It’s your fault. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Do you go to church every Sunday or once a week? Isn’t that the same thing? Never mind. The last time I was in a church for anything other than a wedding or funeral, my parents were still together and I was probably 12.
Do you wish you had more stuff? I’m an American, so yes. It doesn’t drive my life, but I do sometimes buy a lottery ticket, knowing I’ll never win, just to yammer with friends about what we’d do with $300M.
Do you gossip? Why else do you go to parties?
Do you give to charity? With time and money.
Do you listen to rap or heavy metal music? Hip-hop yes. Heavy metal just annoys me.
Have you ever had an abortion or been pro-choice? Um, as a guy, I’ll say “no”. I am pro-choice, as it’s none of my business, and I’ve been supportive to friends who have had to go through the decision process, regardless of their final decision.
Have you ever read Harry Potter or Spiderwick Chronicles or the Golden Compass? Bunch of amateurs. How about Diane Duane’s Tale of Five, where the main characters are not only two wizards, but gay wizards in love. (Thanks, Brian).
Do you see movies with unwholesome content? I consider the warnings a recommendation, honestly. If it’s wholesome, why would I want to watch it?
Do you pray every day? Only when I drive on the beltway. Seriously, though, no.
Do you believe that God is the creator of heaven and earth? If by “God” you mean a bowl of pasta. But that’s mostly ‘cuz I just love pasta.
Are you overweight because you eat too much? As I tell people, “I didn’t get this body eating at McDonalds”. And if you did, shame on you—it won’t fit in a Happy Meal.
Do you take pride in accomplishments other than service to God? In mine and others? Yes to both.
Do you put God and Jesus first? First what? First up against the wall when the revolution comes.
Do you view pornography? Yes, though I’m opposed to actually paying for it. That’s what my tax money is for.
Do you practice temperance in every thing you do? Temperance is for the weak.
Are you quick to anger? I’m 1/2 Italian, naturalmente.
So let’s see, out of 20, I score a … 2. I wonder what Dante Alighieri would think of that? Circle 7, it seems.
The kid, however, is qualified to work for the FDA under Bush.
This entry was posted at 6:15 am on 26 January 2008 and is filed under Social. You can follow any responses to this entry through the post-specific RSS 2.0 feed.
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