One is the most uncomfortable number
This morning, perusing the intertubes, I came across an article on a food blog I read about dining out alone. The question he posits is this: “Why is that? Why are we so terrified to dine alone?” It’s one I’ve had more opportunity to think about than one might care to contemplate.
With the absurd travel schedule I keep, and the fact that I get tired of the same routine over and over and over and over again, I have had ample moments to dine alone. Now, I could certainly order in to my room and hide, but that just seems pathetic. Instead, I try to go out some and I realize that there’s some deep seated aversion to sitting alone in a restaurant. Perhaps it’s the fact that generally, I’m the only “single” person in the restaurant. Perhaps it is, as the original author opines, the look of sad pity from the server. Perhaps, however, it’s all me and not anyone else.
As Americans, we pride ourselves on talking about how independent we are, and yet, we fear being alone with nothing but our own thoughts to entertain us. Even when I do go out alone, and I never take a book, I find myself fiddling with my iPhone—reading blogs primarily—or staring out the window; anything to avoid what I perceive is the icy glare of those who aren’t alone.
This is not something that is limited to eating out, but also going to movies alone, etc. Some places, it seems, are more attune to the needs of the solo traveler, but most are not. Even when I’m home and want to try a new restaurant, I will ring up a friend to invite them to join me. If they are busy, rather than going it alone, I’ll reverse course and choose something less intimidating.
I don’t have an answer, but I do share the feeling, and wonder what we can do to better deal with it.
This entry was posted at 8:46 am on 15 September 2008 and is filed under Food. You can follow any responses to this entry through the post-specific RSS 2.0 feed.
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Ah, the conundrum of winging it alone.
While I don’t consider myself an expert in the matter I am very well versed and can tell you quite simply that it is human nature to want to share what many of us consider luxury outings. When it comes to dining, I’m not terribly bothered by doing so alone because, like you, I’ve had travels every week out of the year so expect it. However, when home, it becomes a bit more difficult because it is the weekend away from work where we expect to share a nice meal with loved ones.
Camaraderie is key here. Which leads me to the movies. In my adult life I’ve had three solo outings with the last one just this past July. Not fun at all and will most likely not do it again. The difference with me is that I have no local friends. In part due to the amount of travel I’d been doing every week where the weekends were just mine to catch up at home. I’ve always been fine with that.
While I don’t see doing these things solo as intimidating, they certainly can be a depressant agent.