Charles Darwin was wrong

We are not, as Dar­win prof­fered, descended from the “lower mam­mals”. We are not the prod­uct of mil­lions of years of evo­lu­tion. We are, instead, the unre­lent­ing descen­dant of tele­phone san­i­tiz­ers. This was made ever more clear over the last few weeks as I strug­gled to explain to a client why charg­ing their cus­tomers for the sim­ple priv­i­lege of cre­at­ing an account on their web­site was epi­cally stupid.

You see, I cur­rently do some work for a large orga­ni­za­tion that han­dles a lot of paper­work. Forests full of paper­work, quite hon­estly, and they are finally try­ing to step into the 20th cen­tury and auto­mate things more. As part of that, they want to allow their cus­tomers to sub­mit a lot of their requests elec­tron­i­cally. This comes with innu­mer­able dif­fi­cul­ties, most espe­cially around fix­ing processes that are paper-centric, or replac­ing them whole­sale with new ideas. And yet, they con­tinue to insist that their cus­tomers should pay for the priv­i­lege of hav­ing an online account whereby they can sub­mit their requests elec­tron­i­cally. It seems to escape their notice that this idea would doom the entire effort and ensure that they will con­tinue to process only paper. To me, this is no dif­fer­ent than Ama­zon ask­ing for a fee to set up an account online so that you can later spend money with them. Or per­haps Safe­way charg­ing you to enter their store.

In what alter­na­tive uni­verse is this a ratio­nal idea?